Young Children and Death

Although children may not fully understand the concept of death in the primary-junior age bracket, doesn’t mean it will not affect students that we will be teaching. My cousin was killed in a car crash in November 2012 at only 24 years old. He leaves behind him a wife and his two boys, one six years old and the other under two years old. The six year old is in grade one at his elementary school, and he is struggling with the grieving process and understanding the loss of his father.  Professor Sandhu defined grief as “intense sorrow, bereavement, caused by a loss, typically triggered by a traumatic or unanticipated event”. I have never professionally worked with a student whom I knew was in a state of grief (that I know of – perhaps the matter was kept private) but I have discussed my six year old cousin’s response to death with his mother and how it has affected him at school. As Professor Sandhu explained using her “brick wall” metaphor, my cousin has experienced these symptoms:

• Loss of interest in daily activities

• Loss of appetite and a fear of being alone

• Statements of wanting to join the deceased person (or be around him)

•Poor concentration

• Frequent absences from school or poor performance in school

In her article, Teri Busch writes that when children suffer the loss of a loved one “Many children have difficulty articulating their feelings and needs” (Grieving children). As a teacher it is our job to show the student that we care, and work with the family if at all possible to help ease the child’s adjustment. We also need to keep in mind that other students may also have reactions to the death of a classmate’s loved one and be unsure of how to handle it. Many of my cousin’s grade one classmates hadn’t experienced death either, and though some of them dealt with it inappropriately the teacher was able to assist all of the children adjust to this new information about life and death as best she could.

 

Works Cited

Busch, Teri; Kimble, Cathy S. “Grieving children: Are we meeting the challenge?” Pediatric Nursing27. 4 (Jul/Aug 2001): 414-8.